★ Friday, December 28, 2007 ★
ups and downs *
4 more days to 2008!i guess it's time for me to have a proper update, do some reflections, and come up with new year resolutions.
during this 2-weeks-term-break , i didn't really go out.
must be thinking how i spent the short term break and festive season right?
basically i spent most of the time resting at home, if not, projects.
i definitely spent more time with my laptop than with friends.
to all my friends, i'm really very sorry!
christmas morning went to Expo to attend City Harvest's service. kinda regretted.
shall not mention about it, really zzz.
to think i only know that i'm attending the service when i reached Expo that morning. tsk tsk!
anyway, had received some xmas gifts. thanks alot!
i like all, especially the most EXPENSIVE one. best xmas gift i ever received.
thank you so much!
and thanks in advance to some who told me they bought something for me, but i've yet to receive them.
new year resolutions.. i guess more or less the same.
top on my list will be: TAKE LESSER CABS!
need to kick this bad habit.
well, i still remembered my last year (31st December) entry.
i only hope for peace and a better year. as 2006 was a lousy and happening year.
however, never would i expect 2007 was even more happening, in fact, the lousiest year in my 19 years of life.
it's like a turning point. drastic changes..
in March, the 14th day of CNY, i went to visit my mom in SGH, was so happy when she told me she can be discharged the next day. and thus, can lao yu sheng with us.
however, that very sunday morning, i received a call from the hospital, telling me my mom's condition was very critical, in ICU, and asked us to go to the hospital asap.
not long after we reached, the doctor announced her brain dead.
well, hoping for a miracle, we dragged for 2 days. and if she didn't undergo dialysis treatment for a few days, papa was afraid that her body will become bloated, thus a cruel decision was made. he decided to let her go beautifully.
i didn't say anything at all. it's indeed a cruel decision, i know my mom is kinda vain, and i understand she was suffering, maybe it's better to let her go. but if that morning we didn't remove those equipments, perhaps she will wake up that very day, or even the next day.
but well, it's really late to regret now. i lost her physically. she's only 42 when she left the world. young right?
once again, i really thanks all my friends who accompanied me through those days! it's really hard and tough!
*bow* THANKS ALOT!
the next few months i had many ups and downs. i know, there were more downs than ups, however, i'm still lucky as i've this special friend and a few close friends who were there for me. and yes, they are still there for me. right?
therefore those ups can neutralize those downs.
"i'll ALWAYS be there for you!"
this sentence is quite vague actually. it can be said easily, but think about it, can you really do it?
don't say that so easily, or rather, say it when you truly mean it, or you can really do it.
if you're not confident, then don't say it. and i greatly appreciate truthfulness.
anyway, this is just my little piece of advice, not referring to anyone.
well, in this particular year too, i learnt my lesson.
"don't judge a book by its cover!"
how true. once bitten, twice shy.
damn my attachment company!
once again, thanks for lending me your listening ears. hurt alot right?
lastly, my "new family". papa has remarried. i've a stepmother. zzz.
i really don't know how to face her, and this house.
however, i love to stay inside my small
i did mention earlier, it's a 50-50 thingy. i'm really lost, don't know what to do.
if he treats her well, i find that it's super unfair to my mom. but if he doesn't, i pity her.
IF ONLY, if only my mom can return to my side, cause i really need her.
no need ask me not to think too much, cause it's hard not to think.
it's like a wound, the pain will subsidize, but at the same time a scar will form.
time can only lighten it, but can't remove it.
over the months, i know i've changed alot.
some better, some bad-der.
will "see how" again, haven't sort out my thoughts.
i can say, i'm really lousy in handling things.
be it family, friends or even the someone special.
very often, i'll hurt them with harsh words, or show them a
and after awhile, i'll regret.
then i'll apologise. and the same/similar thing may happen again.
i really don't know what got into me.
but well, i'll try my best to change.
give me some time.
alright, shall end here, don't think i'll update till next year.
thus i wanna wish all of you a Happy New Year!
enjoy counting down to 2008~
date confirmed.
hope i can end my 2007 nicely.
and no worries, i'm fine.
actually i typed this entry last night, and i've to admit, i did cry.
but currently, i'm feeling alright. =)
before i click "publish post", here's a question for you to ponder, what's the meaning of your life?
mind telling me if you know? thanks!
reminisced @ 10:00 PM ✿
yours truly
yi shi NG
11091988
virgo_yishi@hotmail.com
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